We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
