..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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