her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
