She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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