he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
