I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woke up backwards on a recliner
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
