he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
