You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize