You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize