I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
