Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
