i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need moral support for this bender
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
