I think I am morally bankrupt
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
