Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
