I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
