I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
