Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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