so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
