ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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