I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you didnt know i had herpes?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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