Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize