she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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