Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
