hotel room ftw
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
