Me too!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
