What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
