grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
