Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
