He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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