As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
