I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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