you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize