When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
babies were throwing up all over the place
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
