No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize