There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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