I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
