I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
