doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
