problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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