I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
