there's paper in my vomit.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
