ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
