White coat. Heels.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize