You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize