I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
