im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
