he shaved USA in his pubs
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
