so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
