I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
