If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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