the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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