Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is my gift to your gina
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
