look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
