Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
