Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
organizing the empties. That sober.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
