Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize